#59 - Living with the Land

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 10

Park: Epcot
Park Rank: 10

One thing that individuals realize pretty quickly is that WDW isn't synonymous with Disney.  That is to say, the World brings with it some unique characteristics that aren't the same as the Disney that we see in movies and cartoons.  While Disney is known for its classic characters (Mickey et al) and its princesses, and recently its Pixar characters, WDW is known for things like "The Technology of Tomorrow".

Number 59 on our list is nostalgic of one of those WDW-specific themes:  Being Environmentally Sound.  Living with the Land is a slow ride tucked away in the Land Pavilion, a place better known for the Soarin' attraction and the Garden Grill restaurant.  The slow ride takes you through some animatronic displays of humanity's past interaction with the land before taking you out into the greenhouse to see new innovative methods for growing crops.  This includes Mickey-shaped pumpkins, hydroponic lettuce, and 9-pound lemons.

Living with the Land is a typical example of one of those "Ho Hum" rides at first glance that you overlook.  In fact, we didn't ride on it until our 3rd visit, as it always lost out to other highly-billed attractions.  It goes to show you have to explore the World to find all of its treasures.  Think of it this way: No other theme park would dare put in an attraction like Living with the Land, let alone have it be a successful attraction for over 30 years.  But WDW does, because there is more to the World than just thrills and excitement.  That gets it onto our list.

Next up is #58, which takes us to our interactives/memorabilia category for a very recognizable but underrated item, something seen at all four parks as well as Downtown Disney.

#53 - Jungle Cruise

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 9

Park: Magic Kingdom
Park Rank: 20

Our next item in our list is the infamous Jungle Cruise.  This is an entry that many would put higher, maybe even top ten.  It has been around since the park inception and has built up quite a following over the years.  Weird Al Yankovic took his shot at the Jungle Cruise through parody:



Essentially, the ride is a trip around a river with a few scenes from the "wild" of the world's dangerous rivers.  There are pythons and rhinos and headhunter natives and such, all animatronic.  But the ride is not about the animatronics; it is about the Skipper's Spiel.

The entire spiel is a scripted monologue of the corniest jokes (we are from Iowa, so they apparently were made special for us).  Here's a list of the bit.   Or if you prefer, here's the entire thing:





As mentioned, the exhibit's longevity and cult following make it a well-known WDW attraction.  For us, it finds itself behind other Magic Kingdom items like the Tiki Room, Pirates of the Caribbean, and It's a Small World, though.  The attraction was enjoyable the first two times we visited, but it has lost its luster a bit being so repetitive, and we don't always go on it.  Which, doesn't scream nostalgia very much.

For #52, we go back to our interactives/memorabilia category, looking at an item that every person staying at a WDW resort gets.

#38 - Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 8

Park: Magic Kingdom
Park Rank: 16

In what might be a common theme, we have another attraction within Magic Kingdom that people commonly use to take a break from the other crazy attractions and their accompanying long lines.  This one is our first attraction in Tomorrowland, and it is another original attraction from the park's opening.

The Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover has undergone two different name changes over the years, but the ride remains basically the same.  It is a narrated 10-minute trip in an open-air train-like shuttle throughout Tomorrowland.  It includes going into the Space Mountain complex and seeing that ride in the dark, which is a unique experience.  That is, until you also go into the Buzz Lightyear building as well.

This ride is one of the many original attractions that was also at Disneyland.  The concept of a PeopleMover is right in line with the "Progress toward the Future" theme, even with its inception back in the 60s, and has spawned likewise innovation to be dubbed PeopleMovers too (like at the airport).

I mentioned in my last post I didn't include Peter Pan in this list, which many would think should have a place.  Another that wasn't included is Dumbo.  There are, of course, many more slow rides that I won't include, but I think those two are probably the most likely to raise eyebrows (or, eyebrow, if there is truly only one person reading these posts).  So, what justification do we have for including this ride over these other two?

Yes, Kathy, it truly is that fun to ride!

Part of the issue is, of course, I don't feel a strong connection to either of those slow rides.  They aren't particularly enjoyable and that comes after typically a ridiculously long line (you could do the Aladdin Flying Carpet ride for the same experience in half the wait time).  In my opinion only, those rides have gotten by on reputation more so than any thrill of the attraction or any nostalgic quality.  I certainly don't eagerly anticipate riding them on my day at Magic Kingdom.

Of course, that view is probably in the minority.  There is a long line for a reason at those, so I rightly expect both of those rides to be in the top 30 on other people's list (Dumbo, maybe even top 15).  That's okay with me... again, I'd be interested in reading someone else's list.

Picture taken by Hannah (caption mandated by Hannah)

The other factor in this is that, for me at least, WDW has this paradoxical quality.  It is one of the busiest, craziest places on Earth, where all these individuals are vacationing at the same time.  And yet, there are these pockets of places where you can relax and enjoy.  Relaxation and enjoyment are common threads through all of these items on this list.  And yet, ironically, the relaxation is an illusion.  In many cases, the events and attractions are unbelievably crowded.  However, Disney has somehow structured the queue, the environment, and the attraction itself to create that sense of peace and calm that come with relaxation.

I don't get that sense on Peter Pan or Dumbo.  Those rides always seem too short, especially for the wait, and I get off with the sense "That was it?".

The PeopleMover, conversely, is a very relaxing ride.  You typically can walk right on it, and it gives you an overhead view of all the attractions in that area.  Which, in turn, builds your anticipation for those rides as well.  In all, the PeopleMover is right about even with the Tiki Room, and thus is right next to it in our rankings.  Maybe it gets a slight nod because it moves.

We move back to the "Rest of the World" with #37, and much like the mugs, this one is sure to cause quite a bit of head-scratching.  Our next item is our favorite food court in all of WDW.

#35 - Kilimanjaro Safaris

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 7

Park: Animal Kingdom
Park Rank: 2

If you haven't noticed, we have had a string of interesting entries recently.  We started with some smaller minor items at the beginning of this list, and have now entered an area of items that are a bit more difficult to judge.  We continue this trend with #35.

The Kilimanjaro Safaris are journeys through the savannah regions of the Animal Kingdom, seeing real animals in their natural habitat (or the Disney-provided natural habitat).  The rides are on an open sided vehicle that can seat up to 30, and is narrated by the driver (who acts as a travel guide).  Unlike the Jungle Cruise, however, the scenery is the star attraction, and this is an educational event.

The journey includes looks at several animals, including your basics (lions, giraffes, elephants) as well as some rare ones (black rhinos, white rhinos, hippos), as well as many that you need the handy animal guidecard to help you distinguish (eland, okapi, kudu, addax, impala, oryx, bontebok, etc).  There is also quite a bit of natural beauty to see, including a close-up of a baobab tree, that looks like it is upside down, as well as close-ups of some termite mounds.

The ride has mellowed a bit over the years as it has become more about the animals themselves than the backstory.  However, there was a pretty interesting fictional backstory to this.  The Harambe Preserve is a fictional African location that "happens" to be magically located right next to the Animal Kingdom park.  There are many warnings about the possibility of poachers throughout the queue leading up to the ride, including some taped interviews with the head warden Wilson Mutua (a native Harambrean, if that is the correct expression for that fictional country).

Once you were on the journey, in addition to the regular narration, the driver would occasionally receive "radio" communication from Wilson, warning of poachers in the area, which would perfectly set up the guide to talk about the dangers animals face from humans.  At the end of the ride, we would see a baby elephant (this one, an animatronic) having been placed in the back of a jeep.  We would then "race" our safari vehicle to chase away the poachers and save the mother (their names were "Big Red" and "Little Red").

Something I learned in the research for this post, there was a grimmer backstory originally.  When you would come to the conclusion of the ride, instead of a happy ending, you would see the slaughtered corpse of Big Red.  Yes, I'm not joking.  They tested this out with some cast review rides before opening it to the public, and a good thing too, as the cast suggested changing the ending (let that be a lesson to you that you should always test out your ideas completely before you release your multi-million dollar theme park attraction to the general public).

The Big Red-Little Red story was reduced to talk about animal preservation more in general (which was pretty confusing when you finally saw the elephant in the jeep), and then eliminated in 2012.  Now, it is all about the animals.  Well, not quite.  You can get some really good tour guides who can answer questions and interact with kids, making the ride quite enjoyable.

We have ridden this ride first on every visit to Animal Kingdom, and occasionally again in the afternoon.  Doing so right away in the morning helps with some animals that become lazy as it becomes warmer (such as the lions).  There seems to be more activity.  Plus, if you are there fairly close to the park opening, the lines are very short (but within an hour, they get very long).

Kilimanjaro Safaris is an interesting exhibit for this list.  You could easily consider this ride a thrill, since it is a headliner and a spectacle.  It also is something that isn't truly Disney-ish, as it has the feeling of Busch Gardens more than Disney (especially without the Little Red animatronics).  However, the ride loses its luster after the first two times you see it... it has reached the point where you know what is going to be there.  The ride has reached that point where you go on it because you always go on it; it is the nostalgia of the ride that is the attraction.  Plus, this ride is truly what Animal Kingdom is known for.  It is like Spaceship Earth for Epcot or Harry Potter's Forbidden Journey for Universal's Islands of Adventure.  When you shake everything out, this seems like the perfect place for this attraction on our list.

We return to Magic Kingdom for #34.  Like the Kilimanjaro Safaris, this highly interactive comedy show is one of the best thrills the first time you see it.  However, after multiple views, you realize that while there is a bit of improvisation, the act is the same every time, and thus the viewing becomes more of a nostalgic activity than a thrilling one.

#28 - Pirates of the Caribbean

Category: Slow Rides
Rank: 6

Park: Magic Kingdom
Park Rank: 14

I mentioned earlier that there is an album I enjoy listening to with songs from the park attractions.  Though the album is from Disneyland, most of the attractions are present in WDW, and mostly at Magic Kingdom.

We come up to our next attraction that is true of that list, the Pirates of the Caribbean.  Pirates has the unforgettable tune "Yo Ho! A Pirate's Life for Me" as its featured selection, which has subsequently found itself in just about any pirate-themed movie or show Disney has to offer.  This was the last ride designed by Walt Disney himself, opening in Disneyland 3 months after his death.  And of course, it is the ride that has an actual human skull in among all its fake skulls (not to gross you out or anything).


The ride itself is a slow boat ride, and happens to be a pretty dark ride for most of the way.  There is one small drop in the ride, but it doesn't qualify to make it a thrill.  The ride features animatronics of pirates in different scenes, including a cannonball fight (with "explosions" coming pretty close to your boat), the raiding of the pirate-town Tortuga, pirates stuck in jail, and a few other favorites.  The ride itself is fairly uneventful, and would probably be in the "Imagination with Figment" wing of popular WDW items (read: no one riding it) if the movies had not come along.

But, come along they did, and the extremely successful movie franchise brought more visitors to the ride, as well as the placement of new characters from the movie.  Davy Jones, Blackbeard, Barbosa, and of course, Captain Jack Sparrow all are now seen in the ride, thus making this ride a favorite for 8-12 year old boys.

Pirates of the Caribbean brings up the question of animatronics, those animated "wax-sculpture" like figures made to move in limited movement, over and over.  When a person moves past a display of these characters, it recreates the storyline, which probably was pretty novel back in the 1950s.  But, with the advent of better video displays and 3d technology, it looks really old.  Contrast the new Ariel ride in Fantasyland with the Harry Potter Journey into the Forbidden Forest ride.  Yes, the latter has quite a bit of motion and simulation in it, but the ride cleverly sprinkles in animation at key points in the ride, whereas relying on it.  It is a much more immersive experience.

Disney will probably be the last stand on animatronics, as it hearkens back to the glory days of the parks.  I have difficulty imagining Pirates of the Caribbean or any of the animatronics rides (Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh) as being immersive or intense.  So, in my opinion, there's really only two ways to look at rides like that:  1) a nostolgic trip back to when amusement parks were simpler times, or 2) an eyesore that you simply want to avoid.

Pirates is one of the few rides I put into that first camp, and the movies help put it there for others as well.  I enjoy an educational sight-seeing ride like Living With the Land more than Pirates of the Caribbean, but Pirates is definitely more nostalgic.

One interesting thing to consider is how big "pirates" have become within the Disney magical experience.  We know about the magic of "princesses" and "fairy tales" for girls.  Boys have been treated to different magical experiences, be them spacemen (Tomorrowland), cowboys (Frontierland) or pirates (Adventureland).  In fact, the area of Adventureland itself was supposed to bring to life the adventurous feel of South Pacific islands as well as jungle areas, but the pirate motif has taken over.  There are seminars on how to act like a pirate there every day, as well as the opportunity to do a male makeover into becoming a pirate.  Pirates were just a Peter Pan thing at one time, but now they are big on the cruiselines in addition to other parks.  For that reason, a ride that has no close connection to classic Disney characters becomes one of the most nostalgic rides in the land.

Our next item features pirates, as well as skeletons, ghosts, and quite a few different things.  But this seasonal event is not scary in the least.

#26 - Haunted Mansion

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 5

Park: Magic Kingdom
Park Rank: 12

We finish up this Halloween corner of our list with the Haunted Mansion.  This ride has much in common with Pirates of the Caribbean (hence their proximity to each other on the list).  And, as we mentioned in the PoC post, this is a ride whose animatronics keep it in the nostalgia category, and out of the cheesy category.  Actually, I would go so far as saying this is the best animatronic ride that there is, as the animatronics in the dim light and the overall scenery actually help it look more spooky.  Typically, animatronics stand out a mile away, and these tend to blend in with all the other effects.

If you have not been on the ride, it first should be said that this ride is not scary.  Spooky, perhaps, but singing ghosts is, again, a truly Disney family-friendly spin on Halloween.

Speaking of singing ghosts, this also features a song from my favorite album, and one that is very much under-appreciated by my family members (just sayin').  Grim Grinnin' Ghosts is synonymous with the ride, and you can't hear the song without reminiscing about it.  How cool is this song?  I present to you VoicePlay:





Yeah, that's pretty cool.

This ride has too many neat items to point out in this post.  There are lots of effects, such as the floating head in the bubble, the murdering widow portraits with her dead husbands, the hitchhiking ghosts at the end, and the singing busts, all of which make you say "Hey, I remember where that is on the ride!".

As I mentioned before, if we were ranking overall rides, this would be my top of the slow rides, with maybe one exception (depending on how you categorize it).  In terms of nostalgia, though, the top four slow rides will be tough to beat, and the Haunted Mansion doesn't bring much else other than the fun of the ride in terms of nostalgia (it certainly doesn't bring a good movie, unlike Pirates of the Caribbean).

It does, however, serve as the primary attraction in another of Disney's themes.  We have mentioned themes like "When You Wish Upon a Star Fantasies", "Progress towards tomorrow", "One World of Cultures" and "Becoming One with the Environment".  We also mentioned the Great Outdoors, the Adventure of the Jungle, the Relaxation of Small Town USA, and the Relaxation of the Deep South in New Orleans.  The small, but very present "Not-So-Scary" theme is just as important.  Disney always works with evil villains.  Yet, they find ways to make evil villains not so scary for young kids.  The playfulness of scary elements can be seen in attractions like NSSHP, Pirates of the Caribbean, Peter Pan.  But nowhere can you find them better displayed than Haunted Mansion.

Speaking of themes, we really have not talked about Disney's most iconic theme very much, the "When You Wish Upon a Star" theme filled with fantasies and princesses.  We do so in our next entry, as we revisit our park ambience category to look at the newest of Magic Kingdom lands.

#24 - Carousel of Progress

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 4

Park: Magic Kingdom
Park Rank: 10

We finally made the top 10 at Magic Kingdom, and our next one up definitely fits the bill of nostalgia.  In fact, it is nostalgia about nostalgia, if you will.  Meta.

The Carousel of Progress debuted at the 1964 World Fair in New York.  It then went to Disneyland for a while before being moved over to the Magic Kingdom, where it has stayed since the park opening.  According to multiple reports, this was Walt Disney's favorite attraction, and the one he wanted to stay open forever.

The ride itself barely qualifies as either a ride or a carousel.  You sit in a 240-seat auditorium, which faces the center of a giant ring.  You then rotate to six different scenes within the ring.  Or rather, the whole ring rotates (hence the "carousel").  Each scene depicts another place in history:

• Scene 1 - Loading
• Scene 2 - Valentine's Day - 1900s
• Scene 3 - 4th of July - 1920s
• Scene 4 - Halloween - 1940s
• Scene 5 - Christmas - Modern Times
• Scene 6 - Unloading

The Modern Times section has been updated many times throughout the years, adding additional technology as it becomes mainstream in the culture.

Each of the scenes is acted out by animatronic characters of the same family.  They don't age as they go through the scenes; it is as though they are simply transported from one to another.  Whereas the animatronics we saw in Haunted Mansion aren't as pronounced, the animatronics here won't fool anyone.  They are classic animatronic characters, moving in their semi-robotic gestures and generic mouth movements when speaking.

The Carousel of Progress is, in many ways, a strange ride within the park.  It has no thrills whatsoever (even Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean have a little thrill factor).  It also is not tailored for little kids like It's a Small World, Peter Pan, or Winnie the Pooh.  It is primarily educational, and often the educational rides are reserved for Epcot, or maybe Animal Kingdom.

There is really only four different reasons you would go on a ride like this: 1) You've gone to the park 6 times and you say "We've got to try out this ride", 2) It is raining, 3) You are doing the WDW46 challenge, or 4) You love nostalgia.  Because of this, typically this is a walk-on ride without any lines (just wait for the next show to start).

However, it is surprisingly good.  At least for our family, we have quite enjoyed the story, the reminiscing about times in the past we weren't alive for, and of course, the song.

Yes, once again, another attraction from Magic Kingdom buoyed by the song on the Celebration CD.




You have to love that song, in conjunction with the album art... straight out of the past.

So, what about its place on this list?  If a person is serious about creating a list of top events, Carousel of Progress would have to be on it.  Not only is it an original attraction, but it also holds the record for the longest running show with the most performances ever.  Couple that with being Walt's favorite, plus it being classic animatronics and about nostalgia itself, and this is a must entry.  This item is the centerpiece item for the "Progress Towards Tomorrow" theme for Disney.

However, its place on the list will range.  Some might have it extremely high on this list.  We've lowered it a bit for two reasons.  One, while we like the ride considerably, you will see a change starting with #21 on the list towards activities that are special primarily to us as a family.  The Carousel of Progress was not an attraction that we visited for the first 4 trips we took, so it loses out.  Plus, few people think of the ride synonymously with WDW like they do Dumbo or It's a Small World.  In fact, few people think of it at all unless they are at the park.  For this reason, we put it down a bit as well.

We are up to #23 next, and it features are top nostalgic show in the entire list.  This 4D show is also at Magic Kingdom, and we'll discuss the "First Day" concept as well.

#22 - It's a Small World

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 3

Park: Magic Kingdom
Park Rank: 8

It should be no surprise that the iconic "It's a Small World" ride made the list.  For many, the question will be why is it so low.

Perhaps a better question would be, why is this ride and the past 6 or so entries different than Dumbo, Peter Pan, or the Tea Cups, 3 other long-lasting iconic rides that don't make the list at all.  We asked the question before, and now is a good time to come back to it.

Part of the "nostalgic" equation is that a ride has that sentimental feel to it that comes from a long history within the parks.  Another big part is the personal experience that we have had with the attraction as well.  While "thrill" isn't a consideration, the rides still need to be enjoyable.  And, some very iconic rides lose out because of this.  We also mentioned that attractions get an extra buoy from the "First Day Effect" or having a famous song attached to the ride.  And, attractions also get buoyed by how well they connect with the "themes" of Disney World (including the ones they are synonymous with).

Here is where those three rides lose out.  The three rides are nothing I consider significant; they are extensions of existing movies.  Rides like It's a Small World and Carousel of Progress (and Haunted Mansion/Pirates of the Caribbean for that matter) have had to exist on their own, not piggy back off another character.  For this reason, any upcoming Frozen items will have a hard time making the list, unless the experience is extraordinary.  Furthermore, those rides feature long waits for limited excitement, and in all honesty, the experience could be fairly well replicated at different parks (in fact, Universal has done so with spinners and spinning cup rides).  When you couple in that they don't benefit from the first day effect, and that Kristen got sick being in the proximity of the Tea Cups... yeah, they aren't that special to us.

It's a Small World is different, though.  It definitely is not a thrill ride, but the experience is not something that any park is going to replicate.  Much like Carousel of Progress, it is synonymous with its centralized theme (the "we are all one big world" theme that Epcot's World Pavilion strives for).  It has the song attached to it as well, which is actually much more innovative than those who think it is insidious repetition would believe.  I would posit that It's a Small World is the top slow ride for nostalgia for most the world.  Why else would Dreamworks, when mocking Disney, choose that song to spoof in Shrek?

It just isn't that special to us.

Again, it isn't an annoying experience, like the long lines or the motion-induced sickness of the other three rides have been.  We go on It's a Small World on every visit because we do like it.  But while it has everything else going for it above, it is just one of many not-significantly-special attractions to us.  And since our list is shifting as the top 21 all will have special significance to us, It's a Small World ranks about as high as it can here.

Though, I've gotta admit, we do like this shirt of Zach's.

Okay, we have been building up throughout this list for the big shift starting at #21.  We are now ready for that big shift.  And, our first one is an actual, honest-to-goodness restaurant (no fooling you with some other food option).  This one is a classic... just be sure to ask for the ketchup.

#15 - Spaceship Earth

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 2

Park: Epcot
Park Rank: 3

If you exclude the landmarks of each park (i.e. the castle, golf ball, tree, and whatever replaces the sorcerers hat), it gets harder to pick items that are synecdochous (TM if that isn't a word).  That is, to pick something which symbolically personifies the entire park.

We mentioned that the Kilimanjaro Safaris rises to that level at Animal Kingdom, as it is the attraction that best sums up what that park is all about.  At Hollywood Studios, the item that probably best did this was recently closed... Backlot Tour.  And, given that it wasn't a great ride to begin with, that is probably no great loss.  It is tough to say now what fills the void... the Great American Movie ride?

Magic Kingdom is very difficult to identify, given that it has so many headliners (as seen by the disproportionate amount on this list).  While Dumbo and Its a Small World might be the most famous, they don't necessarily encapsulate all the magic that there is to be seen in the park.  Outside of the castle, there is nothing else.

Epcot, though, is much easier.  Nothing sums up Epcot like Spaceship Earth, the animatronic-heavy slow ride taking you through a history of mankind and into the future, all while riding within the Golf Ball.

Spaceship Earth is the first of the 7 most iconic items in WDW that are heavily sprinkled at the top of our list, in amongst 8 others that get their ranking from being personal favorites of our family.  These top 7 iconic things are sure to be on everyone's list, so there isn't much sense in attempting to convince you of why it is here.  But I'm going to anyways.  'Cause that's how I roll.

First things first.  Spaceship Earth the ride is separate on this list from the Golf Ball, since they are essentially different attractions (much like our separation of Port Orleans Riverside resort from the Food Court).  The Golf Ball is still to come, meaning if these two were put together, the resulting attraction would probably be top 5 overall, and maybe higher.

Second, this ranking does include the simulated interactions at the end of the ride.  Yes, you could argue those are separate, given that you could go into the interactions without riding the ride, but this fits under the "enhanced experience" that one sees with the Test Track ride, where the interaction is connected to (and not separate from) the ride.  However, while the interactions are pretty neat, they really have little bearing on this ranking, other than the choose-your-future video you make while still on the ride.

Spaceship Earth has been around since the park opening and was the featured attraction.  The ride is educational in nature, as it gives a narration by Judi Densch (and previously by Lawrence Dobkin, Walter Cronkite, and Jeremy Irons).  You start with the dawn of man, pack hunting a mammoth, and move up through the discovery of fire, the beginning of writing, the invention of paper, and much more.  You reach the present at the top of the ball, and then start your descent planning for the future.  This includes a choose-your-own-adventure style video that you create, and can have emailed to you.

The ride is iconic not only for its location, but its use of animatronics is classic Disney, as is its themes of progress to the future.  While the Carousel of Progress outdates it by almost two decades, this one is more famous, and frankly does it better.

And much like other slow rides on this list, there isn't anything "thrilling" about this ride.  Epcot misses the boat on thrilling for most of its other rides (Soarin' included... most overrated ride in all of WDW), but this one never pretends to be thrilling.  There is something a bit haunting about the serious nature of the narration and the quiet music in conjunction with the animatronics, all in the presence of an indoor dark ride, and this haunting adds to the gravitas of the ride.

Our next item is another of those iconic features, and it features the most iconic resort of the bunch.  This one, adjacent to Magic Kingdom, is the original resort of WDW.

#2 - Splash Mountain

Category: Slow Rides
Category Rank: 1

Park: Magic Kingdom
Park Rank: 2

Whoa!  Splash Mountain?  Number Two?  (Yes, I know I just said Number Two, you can stop giggling like a 4th grader).

Yes, indeed.  Splash Mountain gets this lofty rank on our list, and I am sure that this is unbelievably controversial.  Maybe not as controversial as the mugs or the maps, but pretty controversial.  Actually, maybe not controversial at all... it does take readership for a blog to be controversial.

Splash Mountain is a fun ride to be sure.  Many people might not list it as their favorite slow ride, or their most nostalgic (Dumbo or It's a Small World, anyone?).  Some might not consider it a slow ride at all, since it does have a plunge to certain death in it.  And yet, here we are.

Let's tackle the question of thrill or not thrill first.  There are thrill components to this ride to be sure, as the lines for it can be pretty ridiculous (and well-deserved, unlike the lines for Peter Pan).  The ride features four drops to it, though only one I'd consider thrilling.  The other three are just a little bigger than the drop in Pirates of the Caribbean, according to my non-scientific measurement.  Still, most of the ride is indeed slow, and it is that portion of the ride that makes it onto this list.  That is the nostalgic part, not the drop.  In fact, consider this somewhat like the queues on the list as only being the part that is non-thrilling.

That part is, by itself, the best slow ride within Disney.  As a slow log-ride, it tells the story of Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox, and Brer Bear.  And it is the only place you can get that story, by the way, since the Song of the South movie has been buried with Walt Disney.  It is a pretty long ride that scales its way up the mountain, and of course there is some nervous trepidation over that last fall, but overall, the ride is much fun.

Along the ride, you get some nice views outside (where you can see the whole park) as well as the scenes of animatronics inside.  But best of all is the song.  The Splash Mountain medley is the best song on the Park Album, and you can help but hum along on your ride.



Okay, so it has a catchy song and a bunch of animatronics, big deal right?  Why is this so good?  This ride was the most memorable ride on our first night in the park (we ended up riding it several times, in addition to Big Thunder Mountain during the Extra Magic Hours).  And again, that first night is the most memorable in our times at WDW.  Splash Mountain is a classic story set to a classic ride, and is one of the few times where you actually feel like you get a story told with the ride (as opposed to a bunch of animatronics thrown together, like the new Little Mermaid ride).

It also symbolizes the theme of Southern Charm.  It is a bit odd that I find this so warm and appealing, being that I'm not a southerner literally or figuratively.  My whole personality is the opposite of the south.  Yet, there is something about that charm, taking in the scenes of the bayou river slowly, listening to banjo music and hearing the frogs and insects.  The entire feel of the Port Orleans Riverside resort comes to life in this one ride.

The feeling of relaxation is probably the one word that has emerged on this list more than any other.  I think about how relaxing it can be on a slow ride like Splash Mountain.  There is one item that brings me more relaxation, and it is number one on our list.